Learning to Let Go of My Inner Critic: A Powerful Step in My Rheumatoid Arthritis Healing Journey

One of the most unexpected parts of my healing journey wasn’t food, supplements, or exercise. It was learning to quiet my inner critic.

What Is the Inner Critic?

I believe we all have a version of it - the little voice inside our head that narrates our life. It comments on what we do, how we look, how we perform, and whether we’re “good enough.”

Sadly, that voice is often shaped by fear, insecurity, and old beliefs. It becomes biased, replaying outdated judgments we formed long ago.

For many of us, these beliefs started in childhood. They were created as a way to protect ourselves and gain love or approval.

But over time, those beliefs become hardwired, and we start making decisions based on them - without even realising it.

When I explored this more deeply, I discovered my core belief was this: I had to be perfect.

I judged myself constantly by impossible standards. And when I didn’t meet them, I punished myself with harsh thoughts:

• “You’re not good enough.”

• “You should have done better.”

• “You’re a failure.”

At the time, I never connected this inner dialogue to my health. But it turned out to be one of the biggest missing pieces.

Stress, Inflammation, and Autoimmune Disease: The Hidden Connection

We now know that stress plays a huge role in chronic illness. When you’re stressed - especially over long periods - your body activates its fight or flight response. Hormones like cortisol are released, and inflammation increases.

Now imagine living with constant self-criticism, anxiety, fear of failure, and pressure to be perfect. Your body is essentially stuck in stress mode. Over time, chronic stress can:

• Weaken the gut lining (contributing to “leaky gut”)

• Trigger ongoing inflammation

• Slow down healing

• Reduce the production of healthy new cells

• Compromise the immune system and increase vulnerability to autoimmune conditions like rheumatoid arthritis

Stress isn’t just emotional - it’s deeply physical. And perfectionism? That’s one of the most persistent forms of stress.

How I Quieted My Inner Critic (and Supported My RA Healing)

For me, the inner critic came from a belief that I had to be perfect to be liked and accepted. That belief drove me to chase validation and constantly push myself.

Striving for excellence isn’t bad. But harsh self-criticism is damaging - especially when your body is trying to heal.

Here are a few things that helped me shift:

1. Identify the Root Belief

I asked myself: Why do I believe I have to be perfect?I traced it back to childhood, where I thought being “the best” would earn love and approval.

2. Challenge the Belief

I began to question it: Is that really true?I reframed it to I am worthy of love and approval just as I am.

3. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection

Instead of aiming for flawless, I broke things into small steps and celebrated every win—no matter how tiny.

4. Practice Self-Kindness

I started speaking to myself the way I would speak to a dear friend. Mistakes became learning moments, not reasons for shame.

5. Surround Yourself with Positive Input

I read uplifting books, listened to spiritual teachers, and immersed myself in supportive, encouraging content.

6. Start a Daily Gratitude Practice

Every day, I write down ten things I’m grateful for. It’s almost impossible to stay negative when you’re focused on what’s going right.

Changing your inner voice doesn’t happen overnight. But like any habit, it strengthens with repetition. Over time, the compassionate voice replaces the critical one.

And that shift?It’s not just emotional.It’s physical.It’s healing.

Why Gratitude Helps Quiet the Inner Critic

I know gratitude can sound simplistic - almost childlike. But deliberately being grateful for what I have now, and what I want my future to be, has transformed my life.

It stopped me obsessing over worries and helped me see life through a more positive lens. It helped me move toward my goals instead of constantly focusing on what was wrong.

When I first started, my main goal was simple: to be pain-free and get my life back.

It was so easy to focus on how far I felt from that - how much pain I was in, how much my confidence had been knocked.

Gratitude became my anchor.

I wrote a list (and still do every day) of ten things I’m grateful for. Some were simple: my husband, my boys, my relationship with my beautiful daughter-in-law, my home, my new pair of shoes.

And the most important one: my health.

I wrote that I was pain-free, full of vitality, moving with ease - even when it wasn’t entirely true yet.

Here’s the fascinating part: our subconscious mind can’t easily distinguish between what is real and what is vividly imagined or repeated. Just like my old beliefs about perfection shaped my reality, continually writing gratitude statements began to reshape it. My subconscious absorbed those messages - and my body started responding.

This practice has influenced so many areas of my life. Even working with clients like you was something I wrote on my gratitude list years ago, when I decided I wanted to help as many people as I could with RA.

So yes, it may sound childish. But I also remember how many things I wished for as a child that eventually came true. Maybe there really is something in it.

If you’re on a healing journey, I invite you to notice your inner voice. Is it supportive—or critical? And what might change if you replaced criticism with kindness and gratitude?

Sometimes, healing begins with a single thought.